tortured by diamonds

i see her through a handful of
diamonds
and she is indescribably
right
she is disarmingly
unaware.

the light bends around her
and i see every color
reflected

i cannot touch her but she
wears my hat and she
smiles

i see past the dark glasses to
a landscape of memories
collapsed

i look at her and see it

it is everything but me; it is
someone else; it is the past
few summers; it is stealing my
memories; it is my memories;
it is a lesson; it is the placeholders;
it is my backscar; it is my one
question; it is my cold bed; it is
my last attempt to make a stand;
it is the only thing i've got to
fight for; it is her mother; it is
watching from behind; it is
strawberry flavored; it is a fleeting
hope; it is a loyalty untold; it is
unchanging; it is permanent; it is
open like a wound open like a question
open like surprise her head on my
shoulder
at church
open like the beach at midnight
open like it is-

what have i become

tortured
by
diamonds